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 November 2007 Post Book Essays "What's Been Happening" - December 17, 2007 "What's Been Happening" - December 17, 2007 It's been a while since I've posted anything. I've received the second round of my clinical trial chemotherapy. My days are still pretty quiet. I've had GI upset with this drug, although I don't know how much is from the drug itself and how much is from having to take Levaquin preventatively because my white counts are so low. If I were on conventional chemo, I know I'd be getting Neupogen to raise my counts, but part of the study is to see how low they go and how they recover. My counts hover around 1,000 for two weeks. There's some anemia with it, too, with a hemoglobin around 10. This week, I'll get a CT scan on Friday then will see the doctor the day after Christmas to see if there is any measurable benefit yet from the chemo. It's hard to feel crummy a good deal of the time and at least kind of crummy even on better days. My appetite is gradually improving and I've stopped losing weight. I've been stable around 145, a full 25 pounds lighter than when I went into the hospital two months ago. I have two pair of pants that fit me. All of my old wardrobe puddles around my feet and slides over my hips. I needed to lose weight but this was a drastic way to do it! I feel like the "Saggy, Baggy Elephant" in Kipling's "Jungle Book" stories. I'm walking without a walker now. That's a big accomplishment. I still get very winded on exertion so I putter along. I haven't started driving again yet, but I'm ready for Steve to take me out into a parking lot and let me see how I do with my standard shift PT Cruiser and see if we can be ruthless about judging my reaction times. I want to be able to drive, but I sure don't want to be a hazard. Chemo fatigue is definitely a factor already. My hair is all gone and the body hair is beginning to go, too. Steve and I try to get me out of the house at least every other day. I need to walk and find I don't do as much of it at home as I should to increase my strength. I've gone from feeling extremely anxious a good deal of the time to being more like my old self. When I first came home, I felt so awful, and the first round of chemo (just three days out of the hospital) was difficult enough that I wondered if I could physically really commit to it and to the rigors of treatment, not to mention if I really wanted to. I've moved more toward acceptance of where I am and to taking this chemo. Time with family and grandchildren has been
good. I'm grateful for that. I'm trying to take all of this a
day at a time.
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